10 Years

Today marks the 14th anniversary of my first date with my hubby (yes, that's actually a thing).  And Friday, May 10, 2013 marks our tenth wedding anniversary.  Which to me, seems like a huge deal. My darling husband is less impressed with our milestone, as men tend to be, I suppose.

So, I decided to put this in perspective for him.

To date, our marriage has lasted longer than the marriages of:  Courtney Thorne-Smith and Andrew Conrad, Shannen Doherty and Ashley Hamilton, Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman, Charlie Sheen and Donna Peele, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock,  Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage,  Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson and Evelyn Lozada, Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman, Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas,  Axl Rose and Erin Everly, Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds, Cher and Gregg Allman, and Britney Spears and Jason Alexander.  COMBINED.

If you count the time we have dated, we have been together during 3 different decades and two different centuries. 

We have been married longer than J-Lo has been and she has been married three times (totaling 9 years and 3 months.)

We have been married for three different summer Olympic games (together for 4). 

Our relationship has spanned three presidents. 

Since our first date in 1999, the world has endured 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the Invasion of Iraq, the fall of Saddam Hussein  and Osama Bin Laden, the launch of Facebook and the earthquake in Haiti.

During our marriage, the Bears went to the Super Bowl (had to sneak that in there!)

Over the last 14 years, trucker hats, diamond grills, bling, crocs and man bags (AKA: murses) have all reached the height of their popularity, and (thankfully) faded away.

When my hubby and I started dating, the world had not yet seen the ipod, the Wii, You Tube, the PS2, HDTV's or thumb drives. 

We have weathered the Twilight, 6 of those darn Medea movies, Justin Bieber, and snuggies.

Since meeting my hubby, some of the biggest names in sports have turned in the most courageous, incredible and mind boggling sports performances ever, only to later be part of huge scandals (Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Kobe Bryant, Barry Bonds, Michael Vick). And some athletes have just set the world on fire, and we were lucky enough to see it together (Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, Drew Brees, Payton Manning, Gabrielle Douglas).

Not bragging, but our relationship survived Y2K AND at least three apocalypses predicted by ancient Indian cultures.

We have been married 50.69 times longer than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

And on a personal note, our years together have included many fun vacations, running two businesses and building our home. They have included the development of two successful careers, the loss of some very special loved ones as well as the birth of the most special little loved one either of us will ever have. There have been some tears, but there has been exponentially more laughter. 

So, maybe it isn't a huge deal to my hubby, but to me 10 years is nothing to sneeze at and I can't wait to see what the next 10 (or 20 or 30!) years brings! Happy anniversary Ryan!

The Contents of My Purse

Last week I was discussing the contents of my purse with a friend. I can't recall exactly how the conversation began, but I started to think about before I became a mom and how, back then, I rarely (if ever) carried a purse. Since having J, I have gone through several phases of bag carrying which has evolved into what I tote around now. 

First it was the diaper bag packed with items for every possible baby scenario: diapers, wipes, baby toys, a change of clothes, a bottle, some bottled water and a travel pack of formula (just in case!), orajel, bags for diaper disposal, an extra hat and blanket (in case of winter car trouble) and Desitin.  Once we could do away with diapers, the diaper bag was replaced with a smaller travel tote. This was filled with little snacks, emergency pull ups, books and more little toys.  The wipes were still in there too.  Now, I still find myself carrying one large bag everywhere I go.  I decided to really take a look in my bag to determine what I could possibly require that would fill such a large bag.  Turns out, I need a lot! Most items in my bag are mandatory.  Others could be and have been purged. 

Bag Item 1:

A travel coloring book and crayons. Actually three or four packs of those little travel crayons that you get at restaurants to color on the place mat.  You know the kind. They are boxes with only four crayons - yellow, red, blue and green.  However, in my supply of crayons the greens are all missing. Seriously.  Not a single green crayon in the bunch. Coloring can be a lifesaver during long doctor office waits or in church, so they stay in the bag.

Bag Item 2:

The medication pouch.  A small zip up pouch containing a small pharmacy: children's benadryl, antacid, kid's Tylenol, band aids, hydrocortisone cream, Neosporin and some excederin migraine.  I feel prepared for just about any emergency. Except maybe a stomach ailment. Note to self: pick up some Pepto for the pouch upon next visit to the store.

Bag Item 3:

Wipes. Yep, still carrying the wipes. Because kids=mess.  Pretty simple. Also, sister item to the wipes: hand sanitizer.  Because you just never know what kids might touch. I don't see these items becoming obsolete for a while. Well, ever really.

Bag Item 4:

Boys size 4T Star Wars undies.  Yeah, I am not sure why those are in there either.  They are clean, however.  So, back in the undie drawer they go!

Bag Item 5:

Coupon Organizer.  Because if I keep the coupons elsewhere, I will inevitably forget to take them along to the store.  And nothing burns me more than paying full price for Cheerios when I know there is a $.50 coupon at home. Carrying a cumbersome plastic organizer is totally justified by saving money.  Makes me feel like I am sticking it to the corporate money makers by saving a buck or two. I can also rationalize things with my savings. For example "I saved $.75 on t.p. and a buck on laundry soap, so I can afford these new shoes. And this scarf. And these jeans." Thus, it stays.

Bag Item 6:

What I like to call "the crap catch all".  It is a zip pouch (larger than the pharmacy) that I apparently fill with every piece of junk that I don't have any other place for.  But, upon closer inspection, I actually need all the stuff in there. Really, not a single thing in there that I could in good conscious be without on a daily basis.  Currently occupying the pouch:
*a nail file
*nail clippers
*ear buds
*mini no water needed toothbrushes (for those times that you realize AFTER leaving home that your child didn't brush)
*small mirror and brush
*floss
*deodorant (Helpful hint: Don't leave this in the car in the summer, then attempt to use. Liquid deodorant = not cool.)
*FHP (am I right ladies? Never leave home without it!)
*AA and AAA batteries. 

Bag Item 7:

6 Plastic Ziploc Baggies.  Because I always think to myself : "Self, baggies come in handy when doling out snacks or for disposing of things, better stick one in your purse."  Then I forget I did it. I have reduced the supply of baggies to 2.

Bag Item 8:

3 Tubes of chap stick.  Same problem as item 7.  Maybe I ought to have my memory checked out.

Well, the bag isn't really much cleaner after taking inventory. It is marginally more organized, which I guess is something!

Vegas baby!

Back to life, Back to reality....

Last week, Ryan and I took our first parent only vacation since we had J.  Our destination? Las Vegas!  Ryan had never been and it has been about 10 years since I went, so we decided to head out west.

We planned to meet our vacation buddies there (a couple whom we met on our honeymoon and have since taken a couple trips with.)  As always, we had a great time!

Our first day started out with a day trip to Hoover Dam.  We were lucky to have a rental car at our disposal, so we took off for the day.  The dam is pretty incredible. It also elicited a myriad of corny "dam" jokes, which we still chuckle over.  And now the Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge is open.  From atop the bridge, the views are spectacular!

Hoover Dam as seen from the Pat Tillman bridge.

 

The Patt Tillman Bridge. 

 

We followed up the dam with a drive into Red Rock Canyon.  This was probably the most unexpected bonus of the trip to me.  When I think of Vegas, I don't usually think of gorgeous scenery and breathtaking landscapes.  But, right outside of Vegas are some incredible sights.  Had we been better prepared, we probably would have spent a whole day out in the canyon hiking and taking it all in.  We saw as much as we could and marveled at all the people who go to Vegas and never know what they are missing only a few miles away.

 



After a full day of sightseeing, our first day of Vegas was far from over!  We went for dinner at a lovely litte cafe inside the Venetian Casino.  We ended up eating dinner there every night of the trip.  The selection was large, the service was great and the food was delicious! 

 



 The Venetian.  Ryan's favorite Hotel (by far) and home to our

favorite dinner destination!  Beautiful!

 

After dinner we hit the Beatles Love Cirque De Soleil show at the Mirage.  I don't know if any description that I would write here could do this show justice! The music of the Beatles was brought to life through gorgeous lighting, dancing and costuming.  It was breathtaking. I enjoyed it very much and received a few jabs to ribs from the hubby for singing along at a volume that he must have deemed too loud.  Apparently he didn't appreciate my rendition of the Beatles classics.  Sadly, picture taking and videoing at Love is strictly prohibited (they had an usher on hand whom we dubbed the camera nazi), so I have no pics of the show.  Which is fine since it is etched into my memory!

 

Our second day in Vegas started with a trip to the Mandaly Bay to see their aquarium.  It boasted having the world's only hammerhead shark.  Which we never saw.  But, we saw a variety of other interseting sea creatures and it was a fun activity for the morning. From there we headed to the Luxor. Ryan wanted to try the "best burger in Vegas" at The Burger Bar (as seen on Food Network).  The burger did not disappoint and Ryan left full and happy.  That evening, we made an impromptu decision to see Mystere (another Cirque show) at Treasure Island.  Mystere was also an incredible show.  Very different from Love and I think we picked two shows that went together well.  They both featured different things and had a totally different style.  I immensly enjoyed them both. 

 

And as if seeing an awesome show wasn't enough, that was the night I fell in love.  With a pair of shoes.

 



Now, my husband was not thrilled with these shoes.  But I adore them.  I am actually wearing them now.  After much agonizing over whether to bring them home, I pulled the trigger.  So glad I made them mine.  But, I digress.....

 

Our last day in Vegas was spent exploring the strip.  Our hotel (the Vdara in the City Center) was located near the Bellagio.  A brief walk from our lobby over a sky walk into the Bellagio and we were on the strip.  We ventured as far North as we could and then doubled back to the South.  We played $1 on penny slots in each casino.  Ryan was the big winner.  He won 900.  Pennies that is!  I don't think we will ever be mistaken for high rollers!  I think we walked for about 4 1/2 hours that day (and boy, it felt like it too!)

 

All in all, it was a great trip.  We got a break from the harsh mid west winter.  We saw incredible sights.  Ate too much and laughed too hard. But, as always,  it was good to come home too! 

 

 The strip at night.

 Paris all lit up.



The cheesy pic that Ryan took as a joke that ended up being

the only good pic of me from the entire trip. Go figure.

 

New Year's Resolutions

It is that time again.  Time for a new year and new resolutions.  I am not typically a big "resolution-er" (that is my new word, you may use it if you choose). But, by golly, I was going to do one this year.

I listened to friends and family tell me their resolutions hoping I could just use one of theirs (maybe I should resolve to be more creative?).  But, I soon found flaws with every one of them.

I couldn't start exercising.  I already do that. Every morning, 7 days a week.  I figured I am good on that one. And going hand in hand with that was eating healthier.  Well, I don't eat much junk.  I tend to snack on fruits and veggies or protein bars. So, that was a no go as well.

Another I heard from friends was to quit smoking.  To accomplish that, I would have to take up smoking and then quit.  It seemed counter productive.

I soon realized that I don't have many of the  "usual" bad habits. Not that I don't have any - mine are apparently just a special kind of "bad" and most people don't suffer from them. I don't drink. Don't chew my nails. Never done and don't see the point in doing drugs.  I don't gamble.  I am not a big spender or shop-a-holic. I mean, I love shoes (who doesn't?) and fun new things, but if they are too pricey or not in the budget, I will pass them over.  Apparently, I am practical to a fault. Maybe I should give up caffeine? I do drink a lot of caffeine.  But this is a resolution to improve myself and, by extension, the world around me. An uncaffeinated me wouldn't be able to spell resolution, let alone form any coherent thought or function each day. Back to the drawing board..........

I read alot, so reading more was out.  I don't like to cook, so cooking more just wasn't happening.  Trying one new thing each day?  Boy, that seems like a lot of work. Get organized? I am just one D shy of being OCD. 

Then it dawned on me.  Perhaps my biggest "fault" is that I am pretty regimented.  I like things to go according to plan. Why? Because that is comforting.  That is easy.  That makes life enjoyable to me because I know that I have taken care of all that I need to for that day. Work is done, my family is fed, their clothes are clean, homework is done, my house is tidy and we accomplished it all on schedule, allowing plenty of free time to just hang out together.  So, how is this a fault? Well, lets just say that when things don't go according to plan, I can be a little ill tempered.  I feel out of my element and a little out of control.  And from that fact came my resolution:

"To be more flexible, more patient and to let go when things don't go exactly as planned."

Yep. It is a lofty goal. But if you know me, you know I don't like to start small or build up to something. I want to go full speed, 100% and accomplish the heck out of things.  It is only logical that my resolution fit that pattern.  So, here we go 2013 - the year of the less rigid me!  Wish me luck.......

Christmas Traditions

The Christmas season is making me very nostalgic.  I have been thinking a lot about the traditions we had when I was a kid and the traditions that we are starting with J now. 

As a kid, the first tradition of the season was getting our Christmas tree.  We always had a real tree at our house and my mom was always the judge of which tree to get.  We would don our coats, hats and boots and trudge around a tree farm until we found just the tree she wanted.  She would slowly walk around the tree deciding if it was full enough and had no big holes.  We would cut it down, strap it atop the car and drive it home.  There were a few years that the tree was pretty big and I imagine it was quite comical to see what appeared to be an evergreen on wheels driving down the road.  We would get the tree home and almost always had to cut at least six inches off of the bottom for it to fit it the house.  We never seemed to be able to judge the size of the tree well and it inevitably occupied most of the living room.  My dad even had to create his own homemade tree stand to accommodate the size of our trees. The standard store bought stands weren't cutting it.  Several 2 by 4's and some guide wires later, our tree was up and we were in business. 

Then my mom got out the ornaments.  This was almost ceremonious each year.  Each family member had their own ornaments to add to the tree and unpacking them each year was exciting.  Every ornament had a story or a reason behind it.  Many of those ornaments still hang on our tree today.   Once the tree was nearly done, my dad would put the angel on top and my mom would add the three Wisemen ornaments (ornaments kept from her childhood).  Then the tree was complete and it was time to put the Nativity under it.  I always thought our trees were beautiful.  The ornaments weren't color coordinated or themed.  But, they were our family history. Each Christmas that our family celebrated was represented in ornaments on the tree (including the construction paper ornaments made by my parents for their first Christmas together when they couldn't afford real ones).  When J and I decorate our tree, I tell him the story of each ornament, many of which my mom gave me when I moved out.   I can look and find at least one ornament for each year from the year of my birth to the present.  And just like my parents got an ornament for me each year, I get one for J and when he has his own family and tree one day, he will have those ornaments to share with his family.

One of my other favorite traditions was writing our letters to Santa Claus.  My parents still have our letters and every now and then they pull one out on Christmas and read it.  The ones penned by me and my sister are usually lengthy and quite detailed. We elaborately listed and described each toy that Santa should bring.  Then there are the ones for my brother.  It is clear that for the first few years of his life, mom and dad let my sister and me write his letters too.  Our letters typically read like a thesaurus.  They are full of adjectives and run on for pages.  My brother's letters say things like "Dear Santa, I want a ball."

Then we would mail our letters to the North Pole and a couple weeks later, one would come back to us from Santa, whose handwriting looks a lot like my dad's!  Last year,  we started this same tradition with J.  We wrote a letter and mailed it.  And my dad wrote one back to J from Santa.  This year, J wrote his letter all on his own.   He listed out the items of choice and drew a picture of each one, just in case.

On Christmas Eve, we would start our holiday celebration with dinner at home. We would have spinach and salmon soup (among other things) as those were traditional foods that my mom would have on Christmas as a child. I love spinach soup, but I am certain no one likes salmon soup except my mom and grandpa. After dinner, we would head to church for the Christmas Eve service, which always ended by candle light with the singing of Silent Night.   After church, we would drive around looking at Christmas lights before heading home.  Once there,  we would leave cookies and milk for Santa and we do this with J too. Although we also leave oats and carrots for the reindeer.  After all, they are working had and get might hungry too!

On Christmas morning, we would wake up and run to the tree to see if Santa had come.  Mom and dad always made us sit in front of the Christmas tree for a photo and then we would open our gifts.  Once we had them all unwrapped, we would spend the day assembling new toys, playing new games and watching new movies.  Usually all while wearing new p.j.'s, socks or other clothes.  We even spent a few Christmas mornings standing out in the snowy yard clad only in jammies trying out new toys that couldn't be used indoors. 

All in all, my childhood memories of Christmas are great.  We didn't get every single thing our heart desired, but we always got more than enough.  And I know now that what our gifts were didn't really matter anyway. Because as you can see, what I remember isn't any one gift or toy.  It is the traditions and the time together as a family.

Giving & Getting

Once again, Christmas is upon us.  Like every kid, J is super excited.  He has a list for Santa and we will soon be writing a letter to him.  And like every kid, J wants just about everything he sees.  But, he has limited his list to four very manageable items this year.

This year J wants: a Darth Vader, a General Grievous (also a Star Wars character), an excavator and a game for his Mobigo. I have it on good authority that Santa has this one in the bag!

But, with receiving gifts should come giving.  Too often the focus is on what we get and we forget how fortunate we are to get anything at all. As adults, we know there is nothing better than seeing someone open a gift that you have given them and seeing their face light up with excitement. For kids, that is a harder concept to grasp.  And one that has to be taught.  Yes, it is fun to get gifts, but having a giving spirit is important too.  I personally believe that this is an idea that is taught and that too many kids are taught to be greedy, selfish and entitled now days (imagine me talking in my best old curmudgeon voice here).

With that in mind, we have been trying several ways to get J into the giving spirit.  One thing we do annually is Toys for Tots.  Each year we donate a few toys for kids who otherwise might not get any Christmas Gifts.  This year was the toughest so far for J.  He REALLY liked a couple of the toys we were planning to donate.  At first, I thought we were going to have a meltdown of epic proportions over donating the toys, but J pulled it together, put on a brave face and was okay with leaving the donation in the bin. 

Each year I allow J to be in charge of filling his dad's Christmas stocking.  He gets to choose the items for the stocking and we make a card for his dad.  Then on Christmas Eve, we sneak the stuff into the stocking to be ready for Christmas morning.  Last year, J had a blast picking things out. So much so that we overflowed the stocking.  He was so excited that I couldn't tell him to stop!

Also, at J's school they have an annual gift exchange.  Each year I have taken J to the store and let him choose the toy he wants to get for his friend.  I am sure some of the other parents have thought "why did they choose THAT toy for my child?" The answer is simple: by letting J choose, he has to think about the other child, consider their likes and dislikes and choose a gift that HE thinks will make them happy. I think that is important for him.  I could pick it myself, but this way, he is involved and gets to really consider giving a gift.  He is also in charge of wrapping it himself.

But, the most fun project we have done is a new one this year.  J has a love for cutting, pasting, coloring and creating "projects".  This year, I directed that into Christmas Card making.  We took wrapping paper scraps, stickers, ribbon and bows and glued them to construction paper.  I helped, but J did most of the work and he signed each card with various greetings: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas or Peace, Joy, Noel etc.  He made about 20 cards total.  I then brought the cards to work and contacted family members.  We wanted to sell each card for $1.  The money collected would be sent to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.  The response was overwhelming! People were asking for 5 cards or more each!  The donation hasn't been sent yet, but currently he has made over $50 to send in.  If you ask him, he will tell you that the money if for "sick people".  And he has proudly stuck each donation in the money envelope that I have kept for him.  I hope to do something of this variety annually so that in the season of "getting", J will keep in mind that giving is important too.

Over the next few weeks, I have big plans for projects: cinnamon tree ornaments, salt dough ornaments and decorative cookies.  Some will be attached to gifts, some will go with J to share at school and others will be shared at work.  Hopefully we are laying the foundation for J to grow into a generous young man.

DId I really say that?

I was reading a blog written by another mom earlier today.  She wrote about the things she has said to her children during their lifetime and how she never thought she would say certain things to them.

I think we all have those "mom" phrases on our list that we vowed never to say, but have had to utter at some point. For example:
"Because I said so."

"Eat all your food, there are starving kids in China!"

"Don't make me pull this car over!"

We have all been there.  Your child is acting up, you are frustrated, tired and the first thing that pops into your head are the tried and true momisms that you hear during your childhood. 

But, raising J has prompted me to say some things that I never would have thought I would say.  Here are a few of my faves:

"Are you kidding me? How did you fit that Ipod in there? Well, we're never getting that back."

"J what is this brown spot on your carpet? Is it dirt? It had better be dirt!"

"You aren't wearing underwear? Why aren't you wearing underwear?" (This one was when the dr. asked me to pull his pants down for shots only for me to discover he was going commando.

"Why am I sticking to the floor?"

"I don't care if your friend "so and so" doesn't have to wear a stocking cap. His mom apparently doesn't care if he catches pneumonia."

"Well, if you didn't drool so much, your chin wouldn't get chapped like that.  So, stop drooling so much."

"You have been chewing that same piece of pork chop for 15 minutes. Just swallow it already!"

"If you are hungry enough for ice cream, you have room to finish your green beans/chicken/potatoes/taco/spaghetti/corn."

"Jackson, you may not start another activity until you pick up the last three that you had out."

"You have a choice. You can do it by yourself. Or, I will count to 3. If I get to 3, and you haven't done it,  I will do it for you. And you won't like that."

"Ugh - don't put that paint brush your mouth!"

"I know you are excited, but you need to calm down a little. You are hopping around here like a monkey on speed."

"Don't growl at people. You are boy, not an animal. Speak with words."

"If you are going to pee outside, Pee downwind and not near where you play."

"Jackson, mommy is not a jungle gym."

I am going to have to start keeping track of some of the more interesting things I say.  I am sure I would have blog material for years to come!